Stuff

I’m developing a new habit of writing about myself in the first person plural… Anyroad, just posting this as a SEO thing and it’s a handy article for people wondering how business gets done round my way. It’s on my main site in Spanish, but it doesn’t hurt to have keyword rich articles under the same domain name and since I wrote it in English first I’ll shove it up here. Still trying to summon up the critical skills for those films I mentioned a few posts back. There’s a good few books too, but they’ll get short shrift here.

How does the whole AgaveWeb design process work?

We don’t expect you to be experts in web design, that’s what you’re paying us for! However if you do know about the process so much the better! For that reason we encourage you to ask questions throughout the process if there’s anything you need clarification on. What follows is a description of how your site will be built from the initial ideas to going live and updates thereafter.

Hi, I’m Gwyn and I’ll be your bilingual web developer…

Firstly there is an initial meeting with the client, preferably in person but also by phone or email, during which we establish the goals of your site. Once we have discussed your requirements we can decide on a package or a bespoke solution. What we need to know before starting are the following:

The domain name you’d like, eg. www.midominio.com or www.minegocio.com.mx, etc.

We’ll help you decide on a good name. The best names are short and easy to remember. A name you won’t have to spend time spelling out for people, eg. http://gwyn2xyg.net.uk . If you already own a domain name you’ll have to give us the details of the company you bought it from so we can use it. If you don’t have one yet we can arrange it for you (prices vary according to whether it’s a .com, .org, .com.mx, etc.)

The full name of your company and tag line/ slogan.

All sites we produce are optimized for search engines, Google, Yahoo!, etc. This means including all kinds of invisible meta information which gets picked up by the ‘search robots’ that crawl the web in order to provide them in search results. Your company name will be prominently displayed on all pages in text and in the form of your logo.

Your site objectives

This is the most important piece of information we gather. The more specific the objective, the better. For example, ‘increase sales” is a feasible goal, but it is better to define how to do this. For example, to provide an online catalog so that clients can see what products you offer and make it easier to contact you. Or to improve efficiency by reducing time on the phone explaining common questions such as your location or opening hours. This will help us decide the next point:

Pages / Sections in the site

On the downloadable form there is a list to give you ideas. We will suggest the main parts you need based on your answer to the last question. Pages or sections might include: Welcome, Contact Form, Gallery, Catalog, Blog, FAQs, etc.

Design information.

Is there an existing colour scheme for your organization?
Are there any competitor’s sites you like? Which elements?
What adjectives would you like to describe your site? eg. Modern, traditional, youthful, colourful, sober, exciting, etc.
Do you have a logo?

If you prefer not to have to think about this design information now, leave it to us! We’ll make sure the overall look of the site perfectly compliments your company’s image and objectives.

Hosting options.

All websites need a hosting service. This is where the files that make up your site are stored and are sent from whenever someone goes to your site. We can arrange this or we can recommend a hosting provider for you. We generally recommend paying for this annually for a reduced price (between 50 and 70 US dollars depending on optional extras)

Photos

Do you have any images, on paper or files to use for the site? If not we can arrange a time for a photo shoot.

Content

It is up to the client to provide the text for the site. We’ll need to have the contact details of the person who will be responsible for this. If your site is going to be bilingual we’ll also need to know who will approve the translations.

You can download the form that we use during this first meeting here. (PDF) Once we have all this information we can decide on which packet suits your needs and produce a timeline and cost estimate.

A typical timeline for a small to medium sized site looks like this:

• Day 1:Client pays 60% of the design total. We contract the hosting and domain name and forward payment details to client.
• Day 3:Photoshoot and delivery of text from client.
• Day 5: First page and one other section design ready for approval from client. Email accounts created.
• Day 6:Client approves, offers feedback about the design.
• Day 7:Changes made, client approves, rest of site built.
• Day 8:2nd meeting with client. Explanation and approval of each page. Any technical info explained, eg. How to set up email, access it, view statistics, etc.
• Day 9:Changes made. Site goes public. Site submitted to search engines.
  After the site is live 2 batches of minor revisions are included in the total price of the package. Any extra work after is contracted separately.

about the distinct lack of blogging of late, the blame lies with www.viveajijic.com now with less lorem ipsum and more English… Click on the pinche US of A’s flag for a preliminary English translation of the jewel of Lake Chapala’s premier events listing service… I’m chuffed with the guestbook and gallery. I’m also planning on having javascript see what language settings your computer has and sending you to the appropriate page. I’d really appreciate it if you could comment whether the photo gallery page works since I’ve had problems with simple viewer and cross browser compatibility before now. There should be 30 or so photos popping up to click on. Thanks in advance 😀

Coming soon to these agave/paint/bunny-filled pages, reviews of: Spanish film: Crimen Ferpecto (The Ferpect Crime), United 93 (Truly distressing ‘entertainment’), and if tonight goes as planned, ‘Good Bye and Good Luck’ which has only just come out in Mexico. Also a bit more info on Pocilga Fest 2006 from last Sat.

Lastly, I’m well happy with a new Flickr toy that “Hockneyizes” your photos. Here’re a couple:

Also considering a jaunt back to the UK in early December, anyone around then?

I’m going to have a go at embedding a Flickr slideshow. Pics are from the Colomos Park in Providencia, filled with joggers and too-bold-by-far squirrels. And the occasional rabbit. Rodents galore, basically. Did lots of playing with the depth of field…
Next mission is to work out how to stop it autoplaying…

I’ve been having a bit of a lie-in and shall prob’ly blog later about last night’s activities. In the meantime have a video of some cats …

Another car crash occurred at the crossroads outside out house, quite a nasty one actually. I wasn’t here for it though, Sita was. Luckily our house is on the ‘safe side’ of the dangerous crossing. Anyroad, they took out a chunk of the electricity/telephone pole and now it’s being kept up by the wires. I always thought the poles were to keep the wires in the air, but turns out I had it the wrong way round.

I was feeling pretty guilty at not having achieved anything at all yesterday save for a few blog items so I packed up my camera and mp3 playa and set off for a stroll. I thought I’d check in on the area where I used to live 8/9 years ago, called Tolsa. I was very happy to find my taco shop, Tacos Rafa was still in business. They’ll serve you anything you like as long as it’s Tacos al Pastor in freshly made tortillas. They remembered me and we spent half an hour reminiscing about the good old days. Then their son (also Rafa) came back from work. He was 6 or 7 when I saw him last and he and his brother (Luis) used to hang out with us in the casa internacional. Anyroad it was a grand reunion. And the tacos aren’t half bad neither. They said to come back, even if i wasn’t hungry and I said I’d bring Sita along for them to meet her. Lovely peeps. Here’s their photo:

I ambled back home via Mondo Cafe in Chapultepec (for one of their famous bucket’o’coffees) then off for farewell drinks for Sarah as she is moving on to better and fulbrighter things in Wisconsin, Belgium and Guatemala if memory serves… Victor y Jana came out ‘n’all and we had a stormin’ evening in the Sacromonte bar replete with veggies and chile, cueritos (soggy pork scratchings) and ceviche (riceless sashimi on a budget/ marinated raw fish) and then some proper food. If you’re reading, Sarah, you’re going to be well missed round here. Don’t be surprised to be hounded to the ends of the earth, or belgium, by skype…

The thing is that right now I’ve got some projects on the go but I’m waiting for people to get back to me before I can continue, so I end up surfing the net reorganizing my desk. I can’t really look for more clients because next week I’ll be up to me neck in projects again. Anyroad, that’s my explanation for the proliferation of links in the last 24 hours. Also today’s Friday so there’s B3ta‘s newsletter and the newly free The Friday Thing.

Anyway this one’s via BoingBoing: Woman struck by lightning while praying… favourite line: “She said ‘Amen’ and the room was engulfed in a huge ball of fire. “

Did America get Thomas the Tank Engine voiced by Ringo Starr? It was a thinly disguised series of morality tales by some English vicar or other where Thomas usually ended up getting bricked into a tunnel for not being strong enough to make it up a hill. I know they made some travesty of a children’s film out of it, but the original ITV series tune was better than the series itself. Anyroad, if you didn’t get it, tell me if it tickles your fancy, my stateside readers… :

See review two posts down then click for a review from a Scottish farmer here: Private Eye

JacksonPollock.org

Click that there link and wave yer mouse around, hitting the left button occasionally. Strangely therapeutic, no? And when you start getting bored with it, just pretend you’re Gerald Scarfe instead of Mr. Pollock…

Sita dragged me to see this one last Thursday. I would like to plead the following mitigating circumstances:

A full-on tropical thunderstorm that forced me to unplug the telly and broadband in case we got a direct hit. Intermittent power cuts meaning no light to play scrabble or whatever it is people did in the days before telly and internets… Anyroad, what the hey, we’d end up seeing it eventually on a bus or plane, so we drove the 5 blocks to the cinema through flooded streets thick with cars and non-functioning traffic lights and found a parking spot deep in the bowels of the Centro Magno.

Here’s my review of the book almost 2 years ago to the day, which I still stand by.

29-May-04 The Da Vinci Code- Dan Brown

Really didn’t expect much from this one… priests, artists and French police… but my mate Roberto lent it to me and it was pretty hard to put down. It leads you by the hand through a murder mystery with clues full of classical allusions fully explained at every step. There’s little room to ponder what’s coming next and puzzles and conundrums are solved within pages of their occurring. Which is fine, and along the way there’s plenty of heavy-handed conjecture about Opus Dei and the cult of Mary Magdelene. It’s no Name of the Rose (4 1/2 Lulus). top

/ 5

Here’s the rub: while the book keeps you wanting to read more to find out what happens next, if you know what’s coming there is nothing, nada, rien to keep you interested. The acting from everyone is below par, which is problematic as the characters are barely two-dimensional to start with. The locations are dingy and framed in the least imaginative ways- close ups of statues of knights, souls in torment in stained glass etc establish the shot before pulling back to Tom Hanks and Amelie staring at some clue. Trite, hackneyed crap.

The visual effects are clichéd and only serve to drive home the patronising way the story is told. I’ve come to expect this from director Ron Howard whose workmanlike films come out with alarming regularity and do exactly ‘what it says on the tin” and nothing more. All the faults of the book are painstakingly recreated in the film; There is no suspense whatsoever, as the minute a puzzle arises it’s solved by either Sofie or Langdon in a scene like the following… If it’s an anagram, for example, first one of them will explain what an anagram is in words of two syllables or less, then the other will say, but what does it mean? The other will stare into the middle distance as the special effects department phones in some kind of graphic representation of the thought process for solving such conundrums. Then the answer will be said aloud. Slowly. Then the other will say, but what does it mean… and the whole process starts again. There’s more depth to your average episode of Scooby Doo when they try and piece together what the canister of fluorescent paint and ripped white blankets have to do with the ghost scaring people away from the fairground. It’s toe-curlingly bad.

So what has Ron Howard added to the book? Well if my memory serves me correctly (and it rarely does) the only divergence from the book is that Langdon now has claustrophobia resulting from a childhood accident when he fell down a well. Presumably this is to enhance the character’s backstory and means that whenever Tom Hanks travels in a lift he gets to make his ‘uncomfortable face”. For Christ’s sake. That’s not improving characterization, it’s just embarrassing for all concerned. The film starts with Langdon lecturing on symbology in some French university or other. I can’t remember if that was in the book or not, but it sets the film up for its fictional basis as he asks a question to the student audience and five Erasmus students pipe up with answers immediately. Maybe French students are different but in my experience, no one answers questions in a lecture like that. Especially the obvious ‘trick questions” he’s spouting at the time. Also in his PowerPoint demo going on behind him he’s showing them that symbols can change their meanings as if this is news of the most shocking nature. Arse more like.

The only good thing to come out of this movie is Sir Ian McKellan mentioning in an interview that he always felt the bible should come with a ‘disclaimer that it’s fiction” to the growing horror of Mr. Howard and friends who were trying to play down the blasphemous side of it all.

So should you see it? If you’ve read the book, then the answer’s definitely not. If you enjoyed the book this film brings nothing new to the table and if you hated the book, then why put yourself through it twice. Newcomers to this whole nonsense might as well see it just to find out what all the fuss is about, but bear in mind that there are much better things in the cinemas right now. Hell, there’s better things on YouTube right now. Skateboarding dogs for example…

* / 5

* see comment # 5…

In other news, Sita’s just pocketed herself yet another award for sociomological brilliance in the line of duty. I’ve learnt that pommegranite licor is best left to trained professionals. The renters have moved out of Adenmore in L.A.. Had a lovely chat with Anne in NZ and Jesse in MA last night. And life continues to treat us with the very best it has to offer and we’ve a weekend of parties to attend. Just wanted to clarify that despite the occasional bad film, life is good.

Also I rushed off another review today, this time for a podcast /5. What’s a podcast you ask? Well they’re regularly produced radio type programs that you can download the mp3s of and shove on your mp3 player/ipod. There’s some links to my faves on the right (or very bottom right if your using Internet Explorer on an 800×600 monitor). Anyway search for Total Podcastrophe on iTunes and see where it gets you. Also Top of the Pods is back with intermittant broadcasts. One of the presenters is off working or somesuch so they had a couple of guest presenters. They both coped admirably, but the California girl, who was obviously very nice, had something of an uptalking habit? Where all sentences are phrased as questions? Which is irking? Especially after you’ve worked in a Californian high school for two years… ? like y’know? Bless her though. It’s meant to be a sign of insecurity, but all the girls who speak like that have more confidence than I could muster even after a few pints. Ah the Californian conundrum.

From Flickr central, Grandma, Mum and Jed in bluebell valley, Zummerzet:

And that’s probably a good thing. This is the kind of musical onanism I’d stay up till 3am to watch on Raw Power when I was 15. Now I just download the occasional coldplay track and all’s good with the world… Rock on, Yngwie ‘Effin’ Malmsteen

As demonstrated below, sometimes only Mexican Spanish can truly express how you’re feeling…

INTENTE DECIR: Tengo sobrecarga de trabajo en estos momentos
EN VEZ DE: Estoy hasta la madre de chamba.

INTENTE DECIR: ¿Lo que mencionas es en serio?
EN VEZ DE: ¿Te cae de madre cabrón?

INTENTE DECIR: Lo siento, pero yo no estuve a cargo de ese proyecto.
EN VEZ DE: Ese no es mi pedo.

INTENTE DECIR: Estoy absolutamente seguro de que esto no es factible.
EN VEZ DE: No mames güey.

INTENTE DECIR: No estoy seguro de que esto pueda ser implementado.
EN VEZ DE: Esto ni a madrazos sale…

INTENTE DECIR: Ajustaré mi agenda para ver cómo puedo programar esta nueva tarea.
EN VEZ DE: ¿por qué chingada madre no me hablaste antes?

INTENTE DECIR: Él no esta familiarizado con el tema que nos atae en este momento
EN VEZ DE: Este pendejo no sabe ni madres.

INTENTE DECIR: Por favor, ¿puedes buscar a otra persona para que te ayude?
EN VEZ DE: ¿Qué me viste cara de tu pendejo o qué chingados?

INTENTE DECIR: Disculpa, por ahora me es imposible atenderte como se debe
EN VEZ DE: Ándele… a chingar a su madre.

English monolinguals:
It’s a guide for politeness at work, eg. “He isn’t familar with the issues currently affecting us” rather than “He doesn’t know his arse from his elbow” and other much more colourful phrases. See comments for an anglo version. Doesn’t really hold a flame though…

Mornin’ T, I hope you have as much fun as we did on yer birthday. We’ll take you to one of Guadalajara’s vegetarian restaurants when you make it down here, or Malabar if we see you first in SC. Alrighty, I’m going back to designing hair dressing websites, thinking of you and wishing you the best. Cheers!

I just got an email from Londonist saying I won a copy of the book “Drugs are nice” just for knowing how Hunter S. Thompson cast off his mortal coil. Yay me!

Hey Gwyn,

Sorry it took so long to get back to you, but just wanted to let you
know that you won a copy of DRUGS ARE NICE. I already have your
address so I’ll get Snow Books to drop you your prize in the post this
week.

Mike

We made it to the end of another season of LOST, as usual with more questions generated than answered. I can’t remember the last time I was as gripped by anything in the cinema. TV is officially the new film.

If you didn’t make it last night to Santo Coyote, you missed a treat. And another round of las maanitas and some kind of liqueur filled chocolate cake. Pricey, but well worth it. Suffice to say, today we had salad for dinner.

Sneak peaks of websites in the making:
www.viveSNEAKPREVIEWajijic.com
www.divineSNEAKPREVIEWsalon.com.mx

and cheap, cheerful and designed with Yahoo! Sitebuilder (not recommended):
www.civilSNEAKPREVIEWmarriageceremony.com.

Delete the SNEAKPREVIEWS out and slap’em in the address bar if you’re beyond bored… or family.

Just got back from a weekend’s worth of good living in Mazamitla to celebrate Sita’s birthday. The first night was grand, proper rain, lower temperatures and a fire roaring in the cabaa. We also discovered the restaurant we’d visit 4 times in our 48 hours there. However the spa/jacuzzi facilities weren’t all they were cracked up to be on the website so we upgraded to a different place with a jacuzzi in the room and a selection of DVDs for the 2nd night. We also used the charro skills we learnt in Brecon last summer to amble down to see a gorgeous waterfall on horseback. It was a lovely winding trail through bizarre mexican woodland full of pines, cacti, agave and palm trees.

In the afternoon there was spectacular thunder and lightning which we watched from the safety of our new favourite bar drinking Negra Modelo and watching Mexico lose 1-0 to France in between power cuts. A power nap and we were ready to polish off more meat that you can shake a stick at in the restaurant again. This morning I nipped into town to see what was going on at sunrise. Lots, as it turns out. But no flower sellers were open so Sita had to make do with a chile plant… Then we had the breakfast buffet at our restaurant. Since we’re regulars and were chatting with the owner after we’d eaten as much as we could at the buffet, he brought out cheesecake and icecream with a candle in it and put Las Maanitas CD on. V.nice. I’m still full 7 hours later, and we’re off again to Santo Coyote this evening to fill up again. Bring it on. Check back soon for more online recording of what I’ve eaten lately. Lots of photos round Flickr if you’re feeling up to it 🙂