Esto ni a madrazos sale… Forwarded by Jana: “cussing at work”

ByGwyn Fisher

As demonstrated below, sometimes only Mexican Spanish can truly express how you’re feeling…

INTENTE DECIR: Tengo sobrecarga de trabajo en estos momentos
EN VEZ DE: Estoy hasta la madre de chamba.

INTENTE DECIR: ¿Lo que mencionas es en serio?
EN VEZ DE: ¿Te cae de madre cabrón?

INTENTE DECIR: Lo siento, pero yo no estuve a cargo de ese proyecto.
EN VEZ DE: Ese no es mi pedo.

INTENTE DECIR: Estoy absolutamente seguro de que esto no es factible.
EN VEZ DE: No mames güey.

INTENTE DECIR: No estoy seguro de que esto pueda ser implementado.
EN VEZ DE: Esto ni a madrazos sale…

INTENTE DECIR: Ajustaré mi agenda para ver cómo puedo programar esta nueva tarea.
EN VEZ DE: ¿por qué chingada madre no me hablaste antes?

INTENTE DECIR: Él no esta familiarizado con el tema que nos atae en este momento
EN VEZ DE: Este pendejo no sabe ni madres.

INTENTE DECIR: Por favor, ¿puedes buscar a otra persona para que te ayude?
EN VEZ DE: ¿Qué me viste cara de tu pendejo o qué chingados?

INTENTE DECIR: Disculpa, por ahora me es imposible atenderte como se debe
EN VEZ DE: Ándele… a chingar a su madre.

English monolinguals:
It’s a guide for politeness at work, eg. “He isn’t familar with the issues currently affecting us” rather than “He doesn’t know his arse from his elbow” and other much more colourful phrases. See comments for an anglo version. Doesn’t really hold a flame though…

2 Comments

  1. I prefer the Spanish version, but here’s the English in case you feel you’re missing out. Again, courtesy of Jana: Not sure where the swear words went, maybe an American School email filtering system…

    Memo: Cussing at work.

    It has been brought to management’s attention that some individuals throughout the company have been
    using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to complaints
    received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated. We do however realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your
    feelings when communicating with co-workers.

    Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative “TRY SAYING” phrases has been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an
    effective manner.

    1) TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.
    INSTEAD OF: You don’t know what the f___ you’re doing.

    2) TRY SAYING: She’s an aggressive go-getter.
    INSTEAD OF: She’s a ball-busting b__ch.

    3) TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late. INSTEAD OF: And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?

    4) TRY SAYING: I’m certain that isn’t feasible.
    INSTEAD OF: No f______ way.

    5) TRY SAYING: Really?
    INSTEAD OF: You’ve got to be sh__ing me!

    6) TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with…
    INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a sh__.

    7) TRY SAYING: I wasn’t involved in the project.
    INSTEAD OF: It’s not my f______ problem.

    8) TRY SAYING: That’s interesting. INSTEAD OF: What the f___?

    9) TRY SAYING: I’m not sure this can be implemented.
    INSTEAD OF: This sh__ won’t work.

    10) TRY SAYING: I’ll try to schedule that.
    INSTEAD OF: Why the f____ didn’t you tell me sooner?

    11) TRY SAYING: He’s not familiar with the issues.
    INSTEAD OF: He’s got his head up his a__.

    12) TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir? INSTEAD OF: Eat sh__ and die.

    13) TRY SAYING: So you weren’t happy with it?
    INSTEAD OF: Kiss my a__.

    14) TRY SAYING: I’m a bit overloaded at the moment.
    INSTEAD OF: F___ it, I’m on salary.

    15) TRY SAYING: I don’t think you understand.
    INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your a__.

    16) TRY SAYING: I love a challenge. INSTEAD OF:
    This job sucks.

    17) TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?
    INSTEAD OF: Who the h___ died and made you boss?

    18) TRY SAYING: He’s somewhat insensitive.
    INSTEAD OF: He’s a pr_ck.

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