You know you´re from Somerset when…

This list is nicked off of Facebook, and was started by fellow Henry´s bar goer, Ros… Anyroad, it´ll mean nothing to 95% of the readers of this here blog but that´s never stopped me posting utter bollocks before… You know you´re from Somerset when…

… you’ve bought stationery in Bastins
….you think Bath’s a big city
… you can tell sheep from goats
… you know why to avoid Bridgwater
… you think Bristol is ‘up north’
… venturing outside of the 30 limit is just unnecessary
… chinese takeaways that deliver, what are they?
… the smell of cow sh*t makes you feel at home
… everywhere else in the UK feels cold
… you have a friend who lives on a farm
… you live on a farm
… you learnt to drive in a field or on a beach
… you live in a cottage
… your home has a thatched roof
… you think nothing of paying £20 for a 2 mile taxi journey
… you’ve been stuck behind a stupid tourist on a country lane
… you saw the total eclipse in ’99
… your local newspaper’s is ‘cow falls off bridge’
… you turned to drink, drugs or heavy metal at an early age
… your friends say you sound like a farmer
… you have nothing to do after 5:30pm
… you think pink wellies are a fashion statement
… you know how to walk over a cattle grid
… you’ve been pony trekking
… ‘short and choppy on the North coast’ makes total sense to you
… you think nothing of grass growing in the middle of the road
… everyone you meet has been to Butlins in Minehead on holiday
… despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary, you think a young farmers’ disco is a wild night out
… until you went on holiday, the tallest building you had ever seen was Debenhams in Taunton
… you’ve reversed for 3 miles when you met a stubborn tourist on a country lane
… it takes you 4 times longer to drive anywhere between May and September
….you pack a thermos, shovel and blanket in the car because the HTV top story was snow forecast in Bristol
… you’re a closet fan of The Wurzels
… your second cousin is also your sister’s stepmother
… your neighbours’ average age is 76
… your best friend goes joyriding in tractors
… you can’t stand the grockles, despite living off their money
… you thought it was normal for more than 50% of your high street’s shops to be operated by charities
….Biggest story on the local TV news is a cat locked in a shed for 2 days in Yeovil
….Second biggest story, man fell off his bike in Glastonbury

To which I added:

…Your entire phone number used to have 3 digits…
…You suffer from advanced lead poisoning from eating blackberries from hedgerows throughout the 80s.
…You know mud is supposed to be reddish.
…You haven´t gone to the Glastonbury festival since they improved the security fences.
…And you still call it Pilton.
…You know that no matter what they change the name to, Bristol is in Avon. North Somerset, my arse.
…And you can´t tell the difference between your local rag and the Framley Examiner

Update! April 2012… Someone’s started one of they tumblr things about it.
youknowyourefromsomerset-when.tumblr.com
If you’ve got any other you know you’re from zummerzet links or ideas, leave a comment, there’s a love. Ta :)